Monday, July 19, 2010

Stop a Divorce Before Your Spouse Moves On

If you are the one who wants to stop a divorce you will have to convince your spouse to give the relationship another try. This sounds completely logical but it is the very first simple fact you have to understand. Of course it isn't always possible to convince your divorce minded spouse to give the relationship another try but it is imperative if you want any chance of stopping a divorce. You can stop a divorce at any stage, such as just before the paperwork is filed or even just before the paperwork is approved by the courts. But the earlier you stop a divorce the more likely that it won't be brought up again.

To reiterate, convincing your spouse to give your relationship another go around is the very beginning process to stop a divorce. But this does not mean continuous begging to your spouse. If you have been doing that it is time to stop. You may be thinking that you need to do a lot of begging to get the point across as if the more begging the more it will wear down their resistance. The chances are, your begging is just getting more on their nerves and making them want the divorce even more. No one wants to be around someone who seems to be unsure of themselves or needy.

Your best move is to explain in calm terms why you don't want the divorce and you would like another chance at the relationship. If you can demonstrate some maturity in your behavior and remain calm it might surprise your spouse and help stop a divorce.

Any screaming or angry actions will not help your chances. Your divorce minded spouse already knows you don't want the divorce. Your goal is to just make him or her realize how sad you are about it. You will be surprised how your mature actions will change your spouse's behavior and thinking.

Another way to show your spouse that you are being mature about the situation is to suggest marital counseling. Although some people are against it, counseling has worked for many thousands of couples. Your relationship can benefit from it as well. You will have to get your significant other to agree to the counseling and that may not be so easy at first. But if you have them convinced to try again then it will not be hard. While counseling is taking place you will have even more time to convince them of the stupidity of divorce and the value of giving the relationship another chance.

While you are in counseling you can have the opportunity to figure out why you fell in love with each other in the fist place. You and your spouse will have time to think of the reasons you got together. For you to stop divorce you should show an honest effort to deal with the problems mentioned during counseling. Hopefully this will convince your partner that you are mature enough and concerned about resolving previous marital problems. This should convince him or her to stop a divorce, at least temporarily if not permanently.

If you do succeed at stopping a divorce, it is important to keep in mind that your divorce minded spouse will always feel that they can always begin to file once again for divorce if need be. It is easy for some people to change their mind back and forth quickly. This means you should be aware of the state of your relationship at all times and make an effort to keep the relationship healthy. Having a good relationship permanently is better than having to stop a divorce temporarily several times.

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